[PODCAST] Military, Anger, and Addiction: How Rob and Kimberly Saved Their Marriage

Sometimes, it’s not one thing that ends a marriage.

It’s a combination of different circumstances.

And that’s exactly what happened with Rob and Kimberly.

In this podcast, Kimberly Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper, and her husband Rob, open up about their story…

…and how being separated because of work, anger, and addiction almost ended their marriage.

 

Learn what they did that made all the difference and ultimately saved their marriage.

LISTEN BELOW.

Be sure to listen, subscribe, and review our podcast to help us help more couples!

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Contact us to learn how we can help you save your marriage:
615.472.1161 or 866.903.0990


 

[PODCAST] One Thing You Can Do To Bring Your Spouse Back

Spouse Gone?

Is your spouse emotionally disengaged? Physically gone? Have you relentlessly tried searching, trying to figure out what you can do to bring your spouse back or make your spouse want to be in the marriage at all, only to find yourself completely overwhelmed?

I understand.

What Doesn’t Work

If you go to Google and type in “what to do to save a marriage” or “what to do to bring a spouse back”, the information is insane. A lot of it contradicts the other, and if you try to implement some from here and some from there, then you’ll find yourself frustrated and back at square one.

What to Do FIRST

We want to help make this easy for you. We have laid it out, and figured out the FIRST thing that you should do when trying to bring your spouse back.

We teach you how in this episode.

LISTEN BELOW.

Be sure to listen, subscribe, and review our podcast to help us help more couples!

Contact us to learn how we can help you save your marriage:
615.472.1161 or 866.903.0990

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

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Listen to “One Thing You Can Do to Bring Your Spouse Back” on Spreaker.

 

 

 

Want more on what to do when your spouse wants out of the marriage?

[PODCAST] How To Reconnect After A Major Relationship Problem

Not every relationship or marriage has a major meltdown…

But when it happens, how do you put things back together?

How do you get past the hurt? The broken trust? The fear that something else is coming…especially when one partner developed a deep emotional relationship with someone else, but has decided to try to make your relationship work again…

How does the straying partner get over the emotional connection with that other person?

How can s/he learn to love you again…and you learn to love him/her again with the security that your relationship will last a lifetime?

There are things to do when reconciling a relationship. There are things NOT to do. There are also “gray” areas where you have to use your wisdom. (Knowing the right principles helps tremendously with this.)

In this program Dr. Joe Beam explains why relationships fail and how they can be put back together again. He explains the principles of reconciliation and the specific do’s and don’ts that can make or break the process. He addresses both the straying spouse and the standing spouse.

If you and your spouse are desperately trying to reconnect, we urge you to look into our 911 Workshop or our Reconciliation Toolkit.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

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[PODCAST] Should I Put Up With This From My Spouse- The Dr. Joe Show Podcast

Several crucial questions have come in about how to deal with spouses doing destructive things. In this program, we will deal with questions such as:

What do I do if my spouse keeps lying? Are all lies the same? Do I react to all of them the same way? Should I set traps to catch him / her in the lies?

How do I know s/he’s telling the truth now? S/he claims that all lies are over but I have my doubts.

What do I do if my cheating spouse is lying to my kids about what’s going on with us? Do I tell them the truth?

My mate still lives at home though s/he is involved emotionally with someone else. I’m trying to save the marriage and s/he tells me that if I’ll just be patient and let this run its course, everything will be fine? Am I a fool to believe that? Is s/he using me? What do I do?

I think my spouse is going through mid-life crisis. S/he is moody, depressed, doesn’t communicate. How do I deal with this?

My mate says if I stop talking about hour problesm s/he will stay but if I keep bringing things up, s/he’s out of here. Yet I can’t live with things like they are. Do I shut up? Do I press for answers?

When is it time to give an ultimatum? How do I know when it’s time to press things or if I’m better off to give a little more space?

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

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[PODCAST] Could You Be Controlling… And Not Realize It?- The Dr. Joe Show Podcast

Many times people exhibit controlling behaviors without realizing it. Other times people are controlled, and don’t know how to handle it in their marriage. We’ll talk about both sides.

In this show, we’ll discuss control in three different ways:
1. How to know if you’re controlling (you may not realize it!)
2. What to do if you are controlling (it’s not too late to change things)
3. How to handle being controlled by your spouse

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

[PODCAST] How To Reconcile Marriage- The Dr. Joe Show Podcast

What do you do when you’ve had major problems in your marriage and now want to try to reconcile?

It’s tougher to accomplish than most people think.

It’s great when a couple decides to put a marriage back together. However, without a valid understanding of what caused the trouble (and that usually means MUCH more than the final issue that became the focus of the marriage problems), many couples who try to reconcile run headlong into a wall of pain and frustration.

For example, if the marriage hit crisis because of an affair, ending the affair doesn’t necessarily mean that the underlying issues have been healed. What led to the affair? What weaknesses exist in either spouse? What relationship dynamics helped create the vulnerability? (This isn’t to justify something such as an affair; it’s to point out that some people think things are now fine because the affair ended BUT THERE ARE STILL ISSUES that haven’t been dealt with.)

That same principle applies to much more than affairs…it applies to control and domination, selfishness, in-law problems, sexual problems, and much, much more.

In this program, Dr. Joe Beam guides you through a process of discovering and dealing with the real issues and then following a proven plan to make reconciliation actually work so that the marriage becomes better after the problem than it was ever before.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

 

 

[PODCAST] Why Your Spouse Loves Another- Understanding Limerence- The Dr. Joe Show Podcast

How can the person who was once in love with you now be in love with someone else?

Why is s/he no longer the person that you fell in love with? Why has s/he become someone that you hardly recognize?

How can s/he seem to no longer care about me? About our children? About our life together?

The psychological word for it is limerence. That word describes people who are “madly in love” and all that goes with it.

In this program, Joe Beam explains in detail what limerence is, how it occcured, why it changes a person, and how it will end. (It always ends…)

More than that, Joe offers practical suggestions of what you should do if you wish to save your marriage.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

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[PODCAST] How To Stop Your Spouse’s Bad Behavior- The Dr. Joe Show Podcast

People often ask if there is a method for establishing boundaries about negative or harmful behavior from a spouse.

Yes, there is.

One of the most effective is to write a contract that clearly identifies the unacceptable behavior and firmly establishes consequences if that behavior occurs.

As simple as that sounds, we’ve discovered that many people have a number of questions about the why’s, how’s, what’s, who’s, and more.

I’ve asked my friend and co-teacher at our workshop for marriages in crisis to join me for this important program. His name is Jeff King. He earned his doctorate at Lipscomb University. More importantly, he has years of experience helping people with marriage problems. Jeff is rather direct and goes rapidly to the bottom line. He won’t waste your time.

Join Jeff and me for this in-depth conversation that will give you the details you need to write a contract for your marriage that can have tremendous results.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

 

[PODCAST] The 3 Things Kids MUST Have to Be Resilient During Separation and Divorce- Podcast

We hear it all the time, “Kids are resilient!”

But is it true?

If I fall down the stairs and break my leg, will my leg heal?

Actually, no it won’t heal. If I don’t do anything to help my leg heal, then it will only get worse.

If I go to the doctor, get a cast, go to physical therapy, and do all the things necessary for my leg to heal, then yes, it will heal.

Otherwise…you get the picture.

We understand this for every other area of health and wellness in life. But when it comes to thinking about how children are affected during divorce or separation, all of a sudden we expect the children to know exactly what to do to help themselves heal.

And that’s not how it happens.

Can children be resilient? YES. Absolutely.

Will they be resilient on their own? Highly unlikely.

It is up to parents, friends, and family members to help children become resilient.

In this episode, we discuss the 3 must-do’s in helping your child become resilient.

[Episode brought to you by WhatAboutMe.Org – a division of Marriage Helper that helps children navigate through how to deal with their parents’ divorce. Donate to the mission at whataboutme.org/donate]

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

[PODCAST] How To Have Great Sex- The Dr. Joe Show Podcast

Great marriages have great sex.

Not just sex.

Not just good sex.

Great sex!

As Dr. Beam earned his PhD through the University of Sydney (rated one of the top 50 universities in the world), he concentrated his research on the correlations between sexual satisfaction and marital satisfaction. Many scholarly studies agree that they rise or fall together. Want a great relationship, have great sex. Want great sex, have a great relationship.

In this program, Dr. Beam focuses on research about the difference between good sex and great sex. Very interesting research identified eight factors of great sex. Dr. Beam will explain each of them. He teaches this methodology for great sex every semester in his human sexuality class at one of Nashville’s leading universities. Now, he shares them with you.

Dr. Beam invites your calls during the program to ask questions, make comments, seek clarification, or disagree.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

 

[PODCAST] Success Story- Marriage Saved After 7 Years of Decline and an Affair- Podcast

It was a slow decline. 7 years ago is when Brandon and Carrie’s marriage started experiencing troubles, but they didn’t realize it yet. Over the years, they grew apart. Even though they were living in the same house. Work, kids, and the daily occurrences of life started tearing them apart from each other until one day, it seemed like everything came crashing down all at once. What did they do next and where are they now?

That’s what we are going to explore in this week’s episode of Marriage Radio.

At Marriage Helper, we believe in saving marriages and strengthening families. The main ways we do that are through our live workshops and online courses.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

 

 

Marriage Almost Miserable? 5 Things To Do Now!

Every day thousands of people look to us to find help in bettering their marriages.

We receive countless phone calls, emails, and even Facebook messages from across the world telling us their marriage problems.

We have heard everything.

From communication issues to affairs, addictions, etc. You name it, we have heard it.

We decided to come up with a short and simple tried and true list to help you begin the process of moving your marriage away from being miserable and towards being strong, happy and fulfilling.

Step One: Stop the fighting.

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

If your spouse is trying to engage in a fight with you.. Simply, don’t join. Stay calm & collected.

Eventually, they will come down to your level.

Focus on being the “safe place.” They will soon realize that they want to be on your level of calm.

If you would like more information on how to be this safe place, click here.

Step Two: Get ready to take a hit to your pride.

We know… Your spouse is FAR from perfect. You on the other hand are quite perfect. 😉 Can I get a witness?! Just kidding! No one is perfect.

Admit your faults. Apologize. Move on. Don’t dwell on these.

Having a hard time realizing your faults?? Check out our Save My Marriage Course.

Here we will introduce you to the various ways that you could be hurting your spouse, unintentionally.

Step Three: Focus on YOU.

During this time you are going to want to “fix” your spouse. You can’t.

You can only change you. Dive deep into your PIES.

Become the most attractive version of you possible!

Not just physically either. Intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.

We tend to forget that our spouse’s weren’t just attracted to us on a physical aspect. They fell in love with us for our mind, the emotions we evoke in them and our hearts.

Need more information on PIES?? Check out the AWESOME bootcamp we put together dedicated to attracting your spouse back… (Click here for more information on the PIES Bootcamp)

PS- I don’t care what they say.. They WERE once attracted to you.. They CAN be again. Just work on those PIES!

Step Four:  Reach out for support.

It is normal to feel alone during this time.

I assure you, you are NOT alone.

If you are looking for support please look into joining our Save My Marriage Group on Facebook.

Here you will find people in similar situations, fighting the good fight with you.

You will be able to hear stories of hope, find encouragement & renew your strength.

Fighting for your marriage is HARD.

Possibly one of the hardest things you will do. Especially if you are fighting “alone.”

Lean on us for support during this time.

Step Five: Get professional help.

At this point, you have done everything you can.

It’s time to relax and let the pros help.

We recommend you bringing your spouse to our Marriage Helper 911 Workshop.

The workshop is all about how to understand yourselves and each other and how to become aware of what the future will bring based on your decisions. While it doesn’t have a 100% success rate, three out of four marriages are saved.

That’s pretty high, don’t you think?

Not convinced you can get your spouse to the workshop? We have another bootcamp designed to help you motivate your spouse to seek marriage help. Click here if you would like more information.

If you would like more information on how you can implement these steps in your marriage, click here for an AMAZING podcast by Dr. Beam and his wife, Alice.

[PODCAST] Jana’s Story: Marriage Helper Changed My Life- Marriage Helper Podcast

Many times we have people asking us to hear stories of people who have been through our online course and attended our Marriage Helper workshops.

In this podcast, we interview an online course member and a recent Marriage Helper 911 workshop graduate to find out:

  1. What her marriage was like before getting help
  2. Why she decided to get help
  3. What she learned that made major differences in her marriage
  4. How she got her spouse to agree to go to the workshop with her
  5. What she learned at the workshop that made all the difference in the world
  6. How her marriage is doing now
  7. Her HONEST OPINION of what you should do in your situation

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

 

 

When The Love of Your Life Leaves

If you are reading this, chances are the love of your life has left you.

Your world is crushed. A piece of you is gone; there’s a hole in your heart. A part of you has died. Your heart is wounded.

Your expectations of what you thought life would be, have been rudely interrupted.

However, life can still be rich and fulfilling but it will never be the same again.

Is there hope? Yes.

Can life be good again? Absolutely.

Earl Grollman said “Grief is not a disorder, disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical, spiritual necessity, it is the price we pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.”

That is why we grieve because love has been wounded. You have a history with the person you’ve lost. This person has connected with you every single day since the relationship formed, possibly connecting with you more than anyone else ever has.

It is difficult for others to understand why you might be hurting so bad because they haven’t walked in your shoes. The process for recovery is difficult.

Below we will list the 3 main steps in healing from lost love. We still encourage you to reach out for help during this time.

You have a broken heart. You don’t have a broken brain. You are NOT crazy, there is nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to be “fixed.”

We aren’t here to fix you.

Step 1: Give yourself permission to grieve.

You have every right to grieve for however long you need. We live in a society where everything is suppose to be nice and neat. Losing someone is NEVER a nice and neat process.

Most people feel guilt when they lose someone, whether through death or separation/divorce. They don’t believe they have the right to be happy ever again because the person they love is gone. You need to give yourself the permission to grieve.

This permission to grieve helps you get out of that pit of grief. Grief is normal and natural. The feeling of being incomplete and that need to be made complete; the “I wish I would’ve said something or done something differently or done more, why wasn’t I better?” All these feelings of guilt are incomplete.

Step 2: Start defining your regrets/resentments

Al Williams said “All I can do is all I can do, and I’ll I can do is enough.” Recognize the incomplete. Stop the action that hurts them, apologize;at that point, you have done all you can do.

Guilt equals regret. Identify your guilt/regret and apologize. Do this for you, not them. Forgive resentments and apologize for grief you may have caused.

In the Save My Marriage Course the standing spouse (the spouse who wants to put the marriage back together- when the other spouse wants out) is asked to write a letter apologizing for what you may have done wrong.

Don’t beat yourself up, don’t go on and on and do not put any resentments in that letter. You may get a variety of results but hopefully, this is a step that could lead to a reconciliation.

You may even want to keep a copy of the letter so that you may add things later on if you need.

If you are doing this on someone who has abused you either sexually, physically, or emotionally- do NOT do regrets. You are totally innocent.

In addition, do not hold in any resentments because you feel they are dishonoring your lost one.

If you choose to give your spouse the letter apologizing for what you have done, do not put any resentments in this letter. That will push your spouse further away.

The resentment part of this exercise is only for you.

Step 3: Remember the good times.

Do this for yourself. This is tough. We tend to villainize the people who have hurt us. If we aren’t careful everything is negative and it’s a skewed view because we do have good memories.

We use to love them, if we don’t still. We want you to be balanced in your view of the person you lost. We want you to have at least three resentments & three good memories.

You maybe wondering, “If I am going to heal, how can I leave the door open for my wondering spouse to come back? Where is the balance between hope that helps and hope that doesn’t help?”

When you have really thought about your regrets, resentments and the good memories with that person. And you keep trying and trying and trying but the other party just keeps hurting you, when you really deal with your pain you are in a better position to move on.

You will go through the  grieving process. A part of you will be gone.

If you have had an affair and have now chosen to reconcile your marriage… You need to grieve the loss of your affair partner. You gave part of your heart to this other person.

So, yes, you have to grieve this person once you have ended the relationship. It’s not an honest recovery if you don’t admit that these feelings of grief exist. You have to deal with those emotions. Give yourself permission to grieve.

The feelings will go away quicker if you stop hiding behind them. Lean into the waves of grief, it won’t hurt near as badly as pushing against them.

Grieving is a change of familiar pattern. You will have triggers of grief. If the grief is anticipated, such as an upcoming wedding anniversary,  then have a plan. Share the pain with someone & make a plan.

You may also experience unanticipated triggers such as a song that comes on- give yourself permission to grieve during these moments.

Sometimes you can’t do anything, you just have to embrace the sadness.

We believe there is always hope for your marriage, unless your spouse has remarried. During this time of hope, work on you.

Part of that is setting healthy boundaries. Listen to Dr. Beam’s podcast on boundaries or come to our Marriage Helper 911 Workshop to get help with that. If you cannot make the workshop, look into our Save My Marriage Online Course.

You have to change yourself first. You cannot “fix” your spouse, that won’t work. Do not beat yourself up.

Be in a position to get up and do healthy things. If you are needing extra support during this time please look into joining our Save My Marriage Group on Facebook.

If you are needing more help with the grieving process, please visit www.sparkoflife.org

 

MINISODE- How To Work on Your PIES When There Are Obstacles

Want to work on becoming more attractive, but you feel like there are so many obstacles in your way? Kids, spouse living at home, job, and more?

Here’s the question that we received:

“My situation is unique in the sense that my husband and I are not separated. We are in the same house. When it comes to working on my PIES, it’s hard at times because we have kids, my husband’s hours are all over the place, and I am so busy with our daughter. It’s also hard because there’s no intimacy…so I’m not very motivated to work on my PIES. How do I do the PIES when are are other obstacles?”

We’ll talk about how to overcome these in this episode.

 

Download Via ITunes By Clicking Here!

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[PODCAST] When To End A Marriage- The Dr. Joe Show

We fight for marriages. All marriages. No matter what has happened. BUT sometimes they end.

Actually, sometimes they should end.

We realize that sounds as if it is in opposition to our mission. In this program, Dr. Joe Beam explains when it is not.

We offer many resources on MarriageHelper.com to help save marriages. We provide online courses for the spouse who wishes to save the marriage when the other doesn’t. We post many podcasts that address relationship problems and provide valuable, life-altering information.

Our weekend intensive, Marriage Helper 911, has an amazing success rate. Even though the vast majority of couples who attend have one spouse who has NO desire to save the marriage (usually they come to get a deal in the divorce), three out of four couples who go through the workshop actually turn their crisis marriages around and make it good again.

Yet…

Some marriages end.

If you suffer in a marriage – whether you are the one who wants out or the one who wishes to save it – you’ve asked yourself countless times…

“When is enough, enough?”

“When do I stop trying?”

“How can I know when it’s best to end it?”

Dr. Joe Beam gives you the points to consider when making those decisions. What’s important. What’s selfish. How to find the peace you need in your heart.

Although Dr. Beam cannot tell you the exact moment…actually he won’t tell you what you must do; instead he teaches the principles, makes them clear, and then leaves it to you to decide…in this program you can find the answer as to whether to fight for your marriage or end it.

And if the decision is to fight, where to find the right help.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

 

[PODCAST] Dr. Joe Answers Your Questions- The Dr. Joe Show Podcast

We receive so many questions ranging over so many aspects of marriage, relationships, love, sex, and more that we can’t get to them all. This show helps alleviate that problem.

Ask anything you wish about any of the topics in the paragraph above. Or other topics about relationships or marriage if there is something you would like to discuss.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

[PODCAST] How Can I Forgive Myself- The Dr. Joe Show Podcast

We hear it often, “How can I forgive myself for what I’ve done?”

In this program, you will find the answer.

If you wonder if guilt a good thing or a bad thing, it’s both.

People who never feel guilt are scary. Think sociopaths or psychopaths.

People who feel overwhelming guilt are miserable. They can’t function well in life.

Sometimes a person involved in something that violates his/her beliefs and values feels guilt for a while…then goes through a period of feeling little to no guilt…and finally feels strong self-recrimination, sadness, and a compulsion to avoid those s/he hurt.

If you struggle with guilt, or if someone you love struggles with guilt, this program is for you.

In this program, Dr. Joe Beam discusses why we feel guilty, why that is a good thing…but also how guilt can become a cage that makes life miserable. He will explain how to deal with guilt in effective ways. He will show you the path to find peace again and to resume life in its fullness. He will show you how to forgive yourself. And how to find forgiveness from others.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

[PODCAST] How Pornography Affects Your Marriage: With Special Guest Clay Olsen of Fight The New Drug

How does pornography affect relationships? With your spouse or with your children? What can you do about it?

In this podcast, we interview Clay Olsen, co-founder of Fight The New Drug, a global movement focused on spreading the word on how pornography affects relationships.

As Fight The New Drug puts it, “Porn Kills Love”

In this podcast, we talk about how pornography affects marriages, what to do if you have a spouse who is addicted to pornography and how to respond.

We also talk about how to parent children in today’s society, how to bring up the issue of pornography, and how to continue those conversations.

For more about Fight the New Drug, visit fightthenewdrug.org.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

[PODCAST] Learning To Trust Again- The Dr. Joe Show Podcast

If you are the spouse who has been hurt – or the spouse who did the hurting – there are key principles for building trust again in your relationship.

The hurt spouse often feels anger, pain, fear, doubt, anxiety, and helplessness.

The spouse who did the hurt often feels remorse, guilt, fear, desire, and helplessness.

Sometimes the spouse who did the hurt wants the other spouse to forgive and forget rapidly…let’s just get beyond this as fast as we can.

Often the hurt spouse needs to talk about the pain, the fear of what might happen again, and to be reassured in many ways.

Are there ways to rebuild the trust? Yes. Does it require work? Yes.

Will there be questions that must be answered? Absolutely. Are there some questions which should not be answered? Absolutely.

In this program we’ll guide you through a process to know what do do, which questions to ask and answer, which ones to avoid, and how to overcome the fear that the hurt will happen again.

Please download your FREE podcast on iTunes by clicking here! 

Download on Google Play by clicking here!

 

 

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