Often it is the kiss of death.

One says to the other, “I love you, but I’m no longer in love with you.” The person speaking either wishes for a relationship with someone new or already has it. The “I love you” phrase often means, “I’m not really that angry at you; you’ve got some good qualities. I hope you fare well. Now, don’t try to make me feel guilty for leaving you.” The “I’m not in love with you” phrase usually means, “You don’t evoke emotions within me like you once did. I know your good, bad, and uglies. Whatever we had has died and I’m not happy. You’re not what I want, but there must be someone out there that is.”

In our turnaround workshop for marriages in crisis, Marriage Helper 911, I hear this “love, not in love” sentiment regularly. Often, the spouse saying it is already deeply involved with another person. Sometimes people that have been cheated against say it, not because there is someone else in their lives but because of their hurt and anger. Occasionally, there are those who say it because they simply want to be free from the misery their marriage has become. Whatever the case, when I hear people utter those words I know that they want someone other than their spouse to be their “true love.” If they are not yet involved with another person, the odds are very high that they will be.

We could explain many reasons why a person evolves from “I’m in love with you,” to “I’m not in love with you.” In The Marriage Clinic John Gottman sums it, “‘feeling unloved’ was the most commonly cited reason for wanting a divorce (67% of women)…and sensitivity to being belittled (59% men and women)…We must conclude that most marriages end…[as] the result of people…not feeling liked, loved, and respected.”

Did you notice that “not feeling liked, loved, and respected” part? If the one who should be fulfilling their needs for emotional closeness and being liked, loved, and respected is not doing that, folks become vulnerable to having someone else fulfill those needs. I’m not justifying it, but I do understand it.

So does God.

When Paul gave command that husbands and wives must sexually fulfill each other, he pointed out, “so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:2-5) God didn’t justify sexual immorality, but He did predict a person’s vulnerability to it if the marriage isn’t filling that deep-seated human need for sexual fulfillment.

The same goes with other human needs that should be fulfilled in marriage. Gottman reports that most affairs are about seeking friendship, support, understanding, and validation.

Be assured that I am not claiming that all who say, “I love you; I’m not in love with you” are in affairs as they say it. However, I am saying that quite a few are, and that the others who say it are vulnerable to infidelity or divorce. It’s basic human nature to want an emotional bond with another person that we feel likes, loves, and respects us.

So what does all this mean?

If your spouse says, “I’m not in love with you”
Believe it.

It’s foolish to shrug that statement off thinking that they are just having a bad day. A much greater likelihood exists that your spouse already has drifted far from you emotionally and either consciously or unconsciously is vulnerable to developing a relationship with someone new.

Get busy now repairing your relationship and getting back on the Love Path. If it’s not too bad yet, there are books that can help, such as my book The Art of Falling in Love. If the problems are deeper and you discover that your marriage is in peril, even in early stages of peril, find the help you need to turn it around quickly. Click here to learn about our workshop that can save your marriage.

I’m not trying to panic you, but you need to open your eyes to see if your spouse’s need for like, love, and respect is already being fulfilled by someone else. Look for signs such as:

  • Your spouse’s appearance (body shape, fragrances, or dress) has improved recently,
  • Money is unaccounted for,
  • Time is unaccounted for,
  • Cell phone bills are hidden and/or your spouse spends time on the phone where you cannot hear,
  • Facebook or email accounts are protected from you,
  • Your sex life recently changed (either more or less),
  • You discovered that your spouse told you they would be one place and you discover they were in another,
  • Your spouse drifts from happiness to sadness to dreaminess to irritableness,
  • Your spouse starts telling you that you are “crazy” or confused,
  • Your spouse gets defensive when you ask about a certain person, activity, or time period

This isn’t a definitive list, but it gives the sense of the matter. Even good people who love Jesus can do stupid things when caught up in the throes of emotion. Don’t be blind.

If your spouse is involved with someone else, you can walk away if you wish. However, if you desire saving your marriage, seek help, no matter how hopeless it may seem. For example, our success rate when working with couples in trouble is that three out of four couples stay married and make their relationship stronger if they attend my workshop. I encourage couples to come even when one of them is “madly in love” with another. It’s fascinating to watch God’s process that saves three/fourths of those marriages. And, yes, we have the same success rate even if your spouse doesn’t want to be there. If the two of you go through three days with us, you have a great chance to save your marriage and make it good again. If not us, then find someone who can help.

Do not let your marriage die. Most can be resurrected when love has lost its way.

If you say, “I’m not in love with you.” (If you are in a relationship with someone else)

If you are already in a relationship with someone that you do not have a right to, we know that you will not end it as long as you can justify it in your mind through whatever rationalization you can muster. Rationalizations are lies you tell yourself. Like all lies, the consequences are bitter.

Be honest with yourself and stop:

  • Bringing up your spouse’s failings or shortcomings to justify your involvement with another, (no one’s sins justify you sinning)
  • Claiming that God brought you and your paramour together (He doesn’t violate His own commands about adultery and undefiled marriage beds),
  • Telling yourself that as long as you don’t cross a certain barrier until you are divorced you are not doing anything wrong (admit that this is a game where you try to manipulate God by following the “letter of the law” while ignoring the “spirit of the law”).

Overcome your own desires and live by integrity.

Integrity is giving up everyone and everything for this rare jewel; I did what was right.

(If you are not in a relationship with someone else)

If you are not in a relationship with another, please consider your vulnerability. Not you, you say? “If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12).

Rather than living in misery and being susceptible to temptations, fix your marriage now. If your spouse doesn’t want to, then be strong enough to insist. Make yourself heard. Clearly explain your misery, danger, and potential future. Involve your pastor, your spouse’s family, your kids (if old enough), or whatever it takes. If you ignore the situation, it will get worse.

Falling in love is a process. Follow the process and you fall in love whether you mean to or not. Vacate or violate the process and you fall out of love whether you mean to or not. You can be in love again. Anyone can follow the Love Path at any time in life, no matter what state they are in now or what has occurred previously.

If you are no longer “in love” with your spouse, or your spouse is no longer “in love” with you, act now, before it is too late.

If your marriage is in danger of separation or divorce, call us at (866) 903-0990 to speak with someone or use the form below to request more information about our Marriage Helper 911 workshop for troubled marriages. We can help you save your marriage even in cases of infidelity, loss of trust, anger, sexual problems, and other issues. (If you’re thinking your spouse would never come, contact us by phone or the form below and we’ll tell you what others who felt the same way did to get their spouses there.) We will keep everything you tell us completely confidential. Our motivation is to help you determine if this workshop is right for your particular situation. We also offer solutions for couples who can’t attend the workshop.

If you and your spouse cannot attend a Marriage Helper 911 weekend or your spouse refuses to get any marriage help, there is still hope. Check out our Save My Marriage Course – where you’ll learn how to bring your spouse back to the marriage. Click the banner below to find out more about it.

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71 thoughts on “I Love You, But I’m Not In Love With You

  • October 1, 2014 at 11:22 am
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    My wife told me she loves me but not in love with me. She cheated and told me and we are trying to work on it. We been together for almost 20yrs. It will be 20 yrs this October 15 th . I am deeply desperate in saving my marriege.my wife still lives with me and we still have sex together but sometimes she she’s we need to follower what the counselor said. To give each other space . If hurts bad when she says I love u but not in. Love with you. What can I do to save my marriege

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    • December 18, 2014 at 8:19 pm
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      It’s not easy trying to forget a thing like that. One must truly be will to forgive, not constantly bring it up, and go on. If that can’t be done, there is no use in trying. One never forgets, but has to push it in the back of their heart & mind. Something was missing in the marriage, she was not fulfilled. But, she didn’t talk to you about it,nor you didn’t believe her,nor chose to ignor or the warning signs. We all love many peopke; family, friends, etc. But “in love” is different. In love is unconditional, being best friends, doing anything for another or each other. It’s working together in all things. It’s consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, giving into or giving up what WE want to give happiness to the other. Compromise, is very important. Not letting the sexual part become boring & mundane. Keep it interesting, trying new ways, read a book on it to teach new experiences. I hope your marriage is successful & you share love again, stronger than it was even before!

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      • December 18, 2014 at 8:33 pm
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        Forgot to mention, I went through it with my husband. We spent 50 years together. I found out about his affair after being married 10 years. I am a Christian woman & trusted the Lord to give me strength & the Will to get through it and He did. Since, my husband passed away. I am thankful I kept my views, till death do us part… But I am older & a lot of the younger peopke.give up on marriage like it’s just something you throw away & start all over. If, I believe , you do it with one, it could very well keep happening, marriage, after marriage. People change, we grow in many ways, so we must learn to grow TOGETHER, or one can be left behind. I could go on & on, but I think you get the message……

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        • May 15, 2016 at 5:39 pm
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          Wow everything u say is so so true.. My wife has told me last week she love me but not in love and it has destroyed me!!! I relationship has had many painful times.. I was sleeping around running the streets, doing drugs… Smh she finally got tired and cheated on me.. Started having sex.. And left me!!! She came back in my life cause we have kids.. Then things seemed great I gave up my ways and turned to GOD then she changed her mind.. I didn’t understand why but I just kept loving her… 4 months later she said she realized I loved her… We got remarried and moved to CT to start a new life!! Last year she just started talking how I don’t have to leave but she felt different… I was crushed but the next morning she swore I took the message wrong!! I knew I didn’t but I swallowed it up and kept loving her… Now this pass week she has done it again… Said she love me but not in love… She only got remarried to make me happy..? I don’t understand but it has taken such a toll on me!!!! Please please help me.. Anybody!!! I’m so in love with her.. And I don’t want no one else.. Or to loose my family!!!

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      • December 27, 2014 at 2:21 pm
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        Forgiveness is crucial to moving on. We have some posts on forgiveness as well…there is actually a process to forgiveness. If you wait to forgive until you feel ready, it will never happen. Forgiveness is a decision.

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        • October 22, 2015 at 7:41 pm
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          I contacted my spouse who I’ve left due to trust issues and continuing behavior about sex. I asked him if there’s anyway we could have sex to keep each other from straying. His answer was, “sex is no where on my mind….you go have sex with whoever you need to”. Possible infidelity is also a reason I’ve left. The next day he posted a very sexy and very “single” picture on FB. My gut tells me that he’s already cheated. He refuses to accept any accountability or apologies etc. He refuses any group, marital or single therapy. I don’t know how else to save us. We’re financially done due to his lies and living in an unfinished home that he sold his soul to build. I feel that I’ve never had a husband since we married because he was working 24/7 to be able and spend 24/7. Any suggestions?

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      • January 4, 2016 at 5:51 pm
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        I am not in love with my hubby anymore

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        • January 4, 2016 at 6:02 pm
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          I am not in love with my hubby anymore

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        • April 17, 2016 at 8:22 am
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          I am in the state of limerence with another woman while still married with two kids. I do not know this woman enough, except her name and held a few conversation while at Starbucks. Is almost like “Love at first sight” At first, I had open many excuses to move on and leave to take my chances with this new woman. But after reading all the advise from this website. I had decided, that I will try to work on my current marriage and make it better. Yes, my wife and I lost the love we had with each other. Some time down the line, our passion and love for each other also faded. We love each other, but not in love, especially the day after we got married. Strange as it sounds, I can not figure out why is that. Back to what I had mentioned, instead of the possibility of hurting more people in my life; I decided to work on my marriage even if it means I am not happy for the rest of my life. I’m not religious person. I will follow my faith to be ethical. Everyone have a choice, and this is my path of life.

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          • May 4, 2017 at 3:27 am
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            Hi David, that is exactly what my husband is doing. He cheated on me and he realized that he did it because he is not in love with me anymore. he does not want to get divorce, he is the one who has asked me to stay together. i would not in a million times stay with a person who does not love me, the pain is unbearable. I admire the fact that you had chosen your family over your own happiness, but I ask you this question…how long is it going to take before you put your eyes on another woman? there is a part in your heart that is empty and we unconsciously try to fulfill it. that is why we, the unloved people, me, your wife, should not live in this pain, it is not fair for us. I am trying really hard to pretend that nothing has happened, but deep down in my heart I am broken. it is 11:22 pm., my husband is sleeping, I am listening to sad songs, and I cannot stop my self for thinking why my husband has not given to me a good night kiss before going to bed. why do I have to live like this?

  • November 2, 2014 at 10:12 am
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    I’m 43. My wife is 42. We have been married for 23 years. We have 3 children: 21, 6 and 4 years old. We had beautiful life and my wife always was most important person for me on Earth. 2 month ago she told me she is not in love with me and she is deeply unhappy in marriage. She filed for divorce. Also I found she has a boyfriend who is 10 years younger. She turned in to different person overnight.She smashed everything without any regret.

    Reply
  • November 6, 2014 at 1:51 am
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    I have been in a 17year relationship where after a move my partner claims to have fallen in love with a neighbors daughter(about 10 years younger than us). Now I am being told that “I love you but am no longer in love with you.”. This year has been the hardest in my life and taken me to places I never thought I would go. I still want to save the relationship but my partner says there is no hope.

    Reply
  • November 14, 2014 at 10:19 pm
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    me and my wife have been married for a little over a year,when i met her she was already pregnant by another man but after she had the baby her attitude towards me started to change,we moved to texas where things got worse there was no intimacy n a lack of understanding on both sides,also there was some hidden emotions brought by her into the marriage, i tried my best to be of help but she always blocked me out or ignored me n was always on her phone she even deleted me on fb, feel she still has feelings for her old flame which is why i think she told me she was nor romantically in love with me tried to save our marriage several times but she thinks she wants to be with somebody else. what does this mean

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  • January 1, 2015 at 6:43 pm
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    Why does it sound like it is the faithful spouse’s fault? What if the faithful spouse was supportive, kind, and loving, but the cheating spouse enjoyed all the attention he was getting from someone new? What about cheating spouses that seem to need constant validation?

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    • January 2, 2015 at 12:40 am
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      Kay, you bring up a very good point. And while the behaviors of the cheating spouse are never validated, there are some situations where the environment of the marriage has primed the temptation of an affair. This is not always the case, however. There is something called “Attachment Theory”. Basically, there are four different types of attachment. One of those, called preoccupied, basically encapsulates people who need constant attention from the opposite sex. These people are also more likely to be limerence addicts…always in search of new and exciting feelings that come with the beginning of a new relationship. While this presents its own set of challenges in a marriage, it can still be overcome.

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      • January 2, 2015 at 3:55 pm
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        I have been told that I have always been just an option to my husband and that it wasn’t until his recent affair that he even thought about possibly changing his womanizing/fantasy behaviors. What situations in a marriage prime the temptation of an affair? If he has narcissistic personality traits, can he really change? What would keep him from not acting out again if he should meet another woman who is more than willing to commit adultery with him? How would it be overcome?

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  • January 10, 2015 at 2:57 pm
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    Been marriage for 5years and my husband have a mixed family. I came in the marriage with 3 children and him part time with 1. We have 3 year old together now. My husband says that we are not compatible and this marriage is not what God has put together. He says my believes are different then his and therefore God would never bring confusion in a God sent marriage. And that we have 2 different spirits. I can never speak to my husband with out him saying that I’m to dramatic and I don’t know how to talk and that he wants out of this marriage. He also states that there is no other person involved, he just wants out of his misery in this msrrisge. He says that he’s starting to think old situstions from his past and feels it’s this marriage that making him. And that God did not approve of this marriage in the beginning it was not his will to get married. He says that he tired of being the only one that puts out the fire in the marriage. It’s always him that has to speak first when we have a problem. I do speak up but when I do it always is that I’m to late. That I need to speak before he does. Basically, we are not compatible, he seems always irritated when we talk or if I talk to him.

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    • January 12, 2015 at 2:58 am
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      It seems that your biggest issue in your marriage is trying to juggle two different personalities – and neither of you understand the personality of the other. We spend a lot of time talking about personalities in our Path to Soul Satisfying Love online video series and at our 3-day workshop for marriages in crisis. I know that understanding each of your personalities and how to talk to each other would make a world of difference in your marriage – and it is possible!

      Reply
      • January 4, 2016 at 6:04 pm
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        Hey I am not in love with my husband he will not open up and we do not kiss or have sex

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        • May 15, 2016 at 5:51 pm
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          This is so so so so bad.. All the stories on here… My situation… I just don’t understand.. Life, marriage it’s hard but dam can’t people just learn to fight.. Stay strong and never give up!!! I have the kind of love that they say.. For better or for Worse… As Long As you Both Shall LIVE!!!! I’m starting to see That means NOTHING?

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          • January 3, 2017 at 6:01 am
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            My husband, said we would always talk about our feelings about for each other,he left me 3mons.ago and told me a month later he wasn’t in love with me any more.no phone number to talk to him.ive talked to him 10 times every time but one I found him.its been 3 months and yestedat he was so angers at me but when he came to my apt .We had a little good talk and before he force off said I love you too.im so hurt.he was alawys good to me.for the most part.

  • January 28, 2015 at 8:16 pm
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    I found evidence that my husband of over 10 years has been having an affair with a coworker for years. He has been cold to me for the past few years and rejected any affection I have tried to give. I have evidence and he refuses to speak to me about it and only replies that I think I know everything. He simply will not admit it and he is not remorseful at all. He is actually acting mad at me as if I did something wrong. It is like the past few years he has been doing cruel things intentionally hoping I will file for divorce, but I never do. I didn’t get married to give up. I still love this man even though he seemingly does not love me anymore. Is it even possible for people in a situation like this to turn it around? Can you turn it around even when the Cheater will not admit it with hard evidence in front of him? It is actually absurd that he says nothing when confronted. We have two small kids together.

    Reply
    • January 29, 2015 at 5:55 pm
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      Sara,

      Although it seems completely hopeless, you would really be amazed at how many times we do see a situation just like this turn around. We have a couple of different options of things that you can do. You’ve already found our articles. We also have an online video series for people in situations just like yours called Marriage Recovery. It is a 7-part video series that focuses on exactly what you can do to get your spouse back and stop the affair from happening. You can find out more about Marriage Recovery here:

      The absolute best thing that we have is our intensive 3-day workshop for marriages in crisis. You may be thinking “there is no way my husband would go to a three day seminar” but we actually have a lot of ways to help you persuade your spouse to go, and these techniques have worked for many people (they are not manipulative or pushy, they are actually very logical and effective). For more information about the workshop, please fill out a form here and our representative will be in touch with you. Or you can call him at 615-636-8086.

      Reply
  • February 24, 2015 at 10:58 pm
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    I left for the army for one year and neglected to stay in regular touch with my wife due to the exhausting training I had to do. She met someone else during that time and had what’s called an emotional affair with this person. Upon my return we went to couples therapy and even separated while trying to work things out. My wife says she felt abandoned and this new person helped her during this time. They both talked about being atracted to each other and exchanged some sex text and lots of one one one conversations holding hands but didn’t have sex or kiss. We’ve being doing better after many months of therapy but my wife still misses this person a lot and is still in touch with her and this is just a constant remainder of bad times for me. How can we move on from this situation? She said I should trust her and all she wants is to keep the frienship with this person.

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    • March 1, 2015 at 5:18 pm
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      Your wife will have to stop all communication with the other person in order for the marriage to work in the long run.

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    • January 4, 2016 at 4:09 am
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      This i have learned. when this happens in a relationship and both people. i.e you and your wife- are both in agreemenf to fix things the third wheel-the peson they had the affair with-MUST GO no phone calls no texts no fb bs NONE! if the two of you have to move to another state and start over to stay away from this other person do it! some would say thats a bit extreme. i say to you. How important is your relationship?

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      • January 4, 2016 at 5:54 pm
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        Absolutely! We agree. You have to go to extreme measures. It’s part of the consequences of the action. Of course, that can’t happen until reconciliation is occurring.

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        • January 4, 2016 at 6:30 pm
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          Hey I am not in love with my hubby there is nothing there

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  • February 27, 2015 at 12:24 am
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    When my husband and I met we were both in different relationships. We both were involved with people who didn’t respect us and cheated on us. We talked to each other about how wrong they were and realized we both wanted a loving and loyal relationship. So we grabbed on to one another and years later married. Within the first two years my husband no longer had sexual relationship with me on the regular. It was once every 3 months. When I talked to him about it he told me “I was complaining and if I’m not happy why not get a divorce? ” this went on for the past 8 years. .I’ve even invited him on outing with me but he refused because he was not interested. We’ve been married 10 years. The last year and a half, my husband has left or bed and been sleeping on the sofa. I have since come to lose all emotional attachment to him. I am not in love with him anymore. I also refuse sex when he finally decides he wants to. I have spoken to him constantly over these 8 years with no change. Until recently. I have not cheated but decided it’s time i make me a better person. . Like losing weight and getting my career started. He now wants to move back into the martial bed and work on the relationship. I asked him why would he do these things and he just said he knew it was wrong I really don’t want to have that with him as he has become a stranger to me. I don’t feel I can. How can this marriage be saved? How can I change my feelings now when the emotions were cut off almost from the start?

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    • December 12, 2015 at 2:37 am
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      I love my husband but am not in love with him. I am very loyal and would never cheat on him. I have always had problems with sexual arousal. I do not believe that it can be fixed, so the last thing I am looking for is another man. The last time we had intercourse I wound up in the emergency room. I had vaginal tears. The only effective treatment for this is hormone replacement therapy. My mother died with cancer and it also increases the risk of heart attacks. I am not willing to take that risk. My husband has never been there for me emotionally, but neither has anyone else so I don’t expect that. He has put me through a lot of crap but for you to say that I am probably cheating on him or looking for someone else. Speaks more to my character or your expectation of my lack of it than the reality. Do I wish I had a fairy tale relationship, sure I do but I value loyalty more than passion.

      Reply
  • March 29, 2015 at 5:42 am
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    My wife and I dated for nine years before we married in 2013. In a conversation we had some weeks ago, I expressed to her that I love her but not “in love” with her. The descriptions of “in love” matches how I felt for my high school sweetheart. The problem with that is our relationship was very unhealthy. I was very much not in control over my emotions and and I hated the way I felt. We had a very nasty breakup and I never wanted to feel that way again. Now that I’m with my wife, she’s extremely upset because she’s “in love” with me and the feelings aren’t reciprocated. I haven’t cheated on my wife and I really want our marriage to work. She says she doesn’t think our marriage can be fixed. I’m at a crossroads here. What should I do?

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    • April 4, 2015 at 2:04 am
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      If your wife is still in love with you, and you are wanting to be in love with your spouse again, then you have everything going right for you. Your situation may seem dire, but this can actually be fixed relatively easily. You just need to know the right way to do it. We can teach you.

      Reply
  • April 22, 2015 at 8:22 pm
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    My husband just had an affair with someone 26 years older than him. He was remorseful and guilty at the start,showing all the emotions of guilt. Then he started to analize us as a couple. We have know each other for 22 years and been together 19 years. Now out of the blue he is saying he don’t love me and has never been in love with me. He is messing with my head tellin me he wants to work it out we are in theropy but I’m not sure this is working. I’m starting to hate the person he has become. He has said real cruel words that has never been said before. He has never physically or mentally hurt me. I am at a total loss the mind games are messing with my head I carnt eat or sleep. Any advice would be greatly appricated. I have been researching and the signs I’m seeing is midlife.

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    • April 23, 2015 at 6:35 pm
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      It definitely sounds like limerence. Therapy is not likely to work because he will just view any person who tries to get between him and his affair partner as the enemy, and will discount anything that they say. Your best option is our Marriage Helper 911 workshop.

      Reply
  • April 25, 2015 at 11:58 pm
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    My husband has all the signs you had mentioned that he is involved with simeone else /someone elseis fulfilling his needs.. how can i win him back to be inlove with me again .he told me that “he loves me but let me be”. He always comes home late, never talked to me or doesn’tverbalize his problem with me but instead he opens to her 22 yr-old bestfriend that he only knew last august 2014. Please help me to save my marriagem thank you and God bless

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  • May 5, 2015 at 12:09 am
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    Ok i have been married to my wife of 17yrs. I have stepped out of my marrige earlier in our my marriage. Long story short I’m in love she is not. Our relationship is great but intimacy from her has died. Need help!!

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  • June 4, 2015 at 3:35 pm
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    My boyfriend has told me he loves me but he’s not in love with me,he just had open heart surgery,I’m going through menepause,we had 8 yrs together 8 yrs ago ,I left him now we are back together for a yr,I’m madly in love I thought we were special to each other come to find out he sais he can’t be himself because I’m too controlling I’m bossy ,and I ride him a lot over girlfriends I’ve got rid of by intemidation,I’m very over protective over him because he has a bad heart I’ve lost time with him because of what happened yrs ago I’m trying to show him I love him again but he doesn’t feel the same I’m lost I don’t know what to do should I let him go or should I fight for him he was my very first boyfriend Shen I was 13 ,then when I was 31 for 8 yrs,now I’m 48’and so is he ,we are back for round 3! Should I go again ,since he sais he loves me but he’s not in love,thanks I’m signing out as lost in love

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  • June 11, 2015 at 4:29 am
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    I have been married for 24 years and with my husband for 28 years. I have never thought of being with another man but my husband told me thathe loves me to death, but he is not in love with me. My heart feels dark and I just want to cry all the time.
    please help

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  • June 15, 2015 at 7:43 pm
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    I’ve been married for less then six months. My husband and I have been together for and a half years I had two children previous to our relationship. We have a child together and one on the wat. My husband told me he’s not in love with me and never was he doesn’t want to leave because he doesn’t want to hurt me. He also says it better to stay since we are into deep. He doesn’t show me affection I feel so alone. I am completely in love with him and I don’t know what to do I’m going to hurt either way. I’m 4 months pregnant btw.

    Reply
  • July 6, 2015 at 4:23 pm
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    About that “not in love” part of your article: I am wondering if I love my husband who I have known for over 33 years. Right now I am pretty numbed by the revelation not long ago that he cheated on me at least 9 times in our 30 year marriage, mainly on business trips. The last time was 12 years ago. He slept with 5 different women, each time coming home and pretending that all is well.

    We are people of faith and are not in a hurry to separate or anything like that. If this was to be revealed, it would shock and destabilize our children. Both families, our friends and colleges would be blown away, having thought that our marriage was ideal. He is very remorseful and was the one who revealed all this after I put one and one together and asked him some very simple questions.

    Right now all I feel and see is filth. I cannot bring myself to be intimate with him. We always had so much fun laughing at everything but this has ceased. I have began to see flaws in him that annoy me now and which I could pass over easily before, flaws that any normal person can have. I no longer find him attractive and really cannot let myself trust him anymore even if as he says, it was a long time ago. I really cannot get over this alone but by Gods grace. Seriously, I am wondering if it is only because it is too much of a shocker for our family and too much of a bother that I do not kick him out of my life. It would also be very costly to divide all our investments and we are not exactly young. May time as it goes by bring forth a positive from this awful mess!

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  • August 12, 2015 at 10:49 pm
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    I first met my husband when I was a junior in high school, he was 22. We dated and fell in love. He proposed to me and we got married August 16, 2008. I was 19 at the time. From day one he had issues wit my family, especially my mom. He felt that she was constantly interfering in our life. I knew no different so I didn’t realize how much it was affecting our relationship. In 2011 we welcomed our first and only daughter. Life was perfect in both of our eyes. I developed severe post partum depression. I haven’t always been great at communication and expressing my feelings. Not only with him but in any relationships. I spoke with my doctor when I couldn’t handle it on my own anymore. He put me on antidepressants, it helped a lot, but of course my libido was non existent because of them. I was embarrassed, i didn’t want anyone to know I was depressed especially not my husband. After about a year and a half I finally told him in the midst of a fight. He was really angry with me because I didn’t tell him , but he was even more angry because he automatically assumed that I had told my mom. Which I hadn’t, no one knew. Last year I started a new job. I had an awful boss who was out to make sure that I failed. It was what I thought the worst thing I could ever possibly have to go through. Well I was very wrong. In March of this year, a girl whom I went to high school with messaged me through Facebook one night, informing me that my husband was having an affair with a coworker… I was devestated. At first he lied and told me it was just a kiss one time. Then he finally decided to come clean and told me that it had been occurring the previous 6 months. At first he promised to do anything to fix it. To fix us. But then after a few weeks he changed what he wanted. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be married to me anymore. He wasn’t sure what his feelings were for her. He still works with her. He spends 9+hours a day with her. He says that nothing is going on with them anymore. I have forgiven him. I want to move forward. But I can’t because he is so stuck in the past. We have both been to a counselor individually and as a couple. There has been some definite pros going. But we have been stuck in a limbo state. We still live in the same home. But we rarely do anything as a family or as a couple. He hasn’t slept in our bed since March. We have only made love twice since everything was revealed. I can’t keep going on the way things currently are. And he is afraid that things will go back to the way they were. The more he pushes me away the more distant my feelings continue to become for him. I love him and he says he loves me that is why it is so difficult. But are we in love with each other? I am so lost and confused and I don’t want to make the wrong decision. But I feel some decision needs to be made. I’m so concerned that we will start to hate and resent each other and neither of us want that. Any advice is welcomed!

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  • January 15, 2016 at 3:22 am
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    My husband , now ex husband , said this to me about 3 years ago. He stated blaming me for everything , pointed put my weaknesses and flaws, and eventually discarded me and his child. I found out about 2 months later that he was deeply involved with a co worker of his (they are both cops). He put me through hell, inflicting so much pain on me. Until one day God told me to put an end to it and divorce him. I find for divorce about 4 months after he left and never talked to him again. All communication was through lawyers. I had it with his lying and cheating. I am a Christian. I do not believe in divorce. I know God hates divorces. But I will not let someone treat me as a “choice”. If a spouse says “I love you but I am not in love with you anymore ” they are having an affair. They are cowardly, selfish liars who do not end their marriage but blame their spouse, chest, lie and then eventually discard. Now 3 years later it was the best decision of my life. My life is now happy, sane and peaceful. I thank God every day for taking evil out of my life. I know my ex husband was/is an atheist so it’s ok for me to divorce him. Which I did.

    Reply
    • January 21, 2016 at 9:34 pm
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      While it may have been the right thing for you to divorce, that is not always what everyone wants to do or even should do. Many people stand for their marriage during this time, rescue their spouse, and save their marriage. That is what we help people do 🙂

      Reply
  • February 16, 2016 at 7:16 pm
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    My husband and I got married young, me at 17 and him at 18. We were very happily in love. Each others firsts in EVERYTHING. We Have now been together for 7 years, no kids. With the years we have drifted as most couples do. We are the definition of complete opposites. He is a homebody, introverted, calm, all about the facts. I am very extroverted, need human interaction, free spirited and open minded. We clash all the time. Although we are very much content, I cannot help but feel like I am satisfying all of his needs but he is not capable of fulfilling all of mine. He expresses his love to me constantly and really puts in a lot of effort but I can’t even manage to have an engaging conversation with him. It upsets me to say that we have succumbed to going about our lives in routine, wake up, go to work, come home, stay busy, go to sleep and do it all over again. At this point I guess I am just re-evaluating if this is how I want to live my life. I have had many conversations with him about this, being completely honest and open. And I have stayed 100% faithful. In need of some guidance right now.

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  • April 4, 2016 at 11:20 am
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    My wife and I married in August 2004. We were almost 60 years old and both widowed by death of spouse. We were both Christians and felt we knew what we were doing was right. Our kids didn’t. She has 3 sons and I have 3 sons, all married with children. We were very happy with each other and madly in love. Early in the marriage I suddenly had a problem with ED. I lived in San Diego, she being from Orange County. She began to use Credit Cards that I entrusted her with to buy things, return them and take the money and give to one of her sons(which I found out later was a full on crack-head and so was his wife, she worked, he didn’t. My wife would also sneak off back to Orange County almost on a daily basis, again using the Credit Card for gas and then would lie to me about why she went or where she went. I eventually lost it, backslid and began to drink again and would get Mad as Hell when she lied to me. Well, with my temper and having the ED problem and the Alcohol–you get the picture–Out of shear frustration because I was so in love with her, I began to use intimidation, threats , lies, and even called her filthy names and accused her of all kinds of filth things. Things got worse and worse and I turned back to God and have been faithful to God and her since. I NEVER CHEATED ON HER. I have been faithful to her. for the past several years, we live in the same house, sleep in an oversize King bed(apart). She has no desire for Lovemaking, or any kind of Intimacy. No hand holding, no kissing, no Lovemaking. She says she no longer is in love with me, does not desire any kind of Intimacy from me because she says she abso0lutely has NO feeling for me whatsoever. I am 71 and not getting any younger. I am being Discipiled by a Deacon at David Jeremiah’s Church in San Diego. Can you please contact me and help me. My heart is breaking for her and I cry myself to sleep every night and she shows no compassion or feeling for me. I am so lonely for someone to hold me and want me!

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  • May 12, 2016 at 11:36 pm
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    i’m in loved with another man ! ive been married for 4 yrs. I am not in love with my husband since the beginign everything started wrong i just dont know how i continue the relationship.

    Reply
  • May 27, 2016 at 8:02 pm
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    So lost!! My husband and I have been married for 2 and a half years but we have been together for a total of 7 years. We have had our ups and downs, but one that stands out is when I caught him having an emotional affair with one of his co-workers. I confronted him and asked him if he wants leave he can to just let me know. He said that no we are going through a rough time and he understands that so he told me he wanted to try harder in our marriage and that he would stop speaking to this co-worker. Well recently he decided to join the military and in march started basic training. He kept constant contact with and continued to tell me he still loved me and that our love was getting stronger through this process. Due to financial issues I was unable to attended his graduation. So he called me when he got his phone back to tell me that he is in love with his co-worker and has been in a relationship with her for a year and a half. That he changed so much through these 3 months and that he wants this to be over. Just like that. I have no idea what is going on or how to feel. Is it really over or is he confused? Any advice is welcomed.

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  • August 24, 2016 at 9:39 pm
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    my spouse and I have been together for 30 years (married for 20), not sure what to do because I don’t think I love her anymore. there is no one else in my life, if my marriage fails I don’t want it to be because of an affair. we don’t have a connection anymore, we don’t kiss, hug or have sex more then couple times a month. she has no interest in doing things for me even though she works part time and I work full time and travel. we don’t do anything together and when we get invited to go out and play games with other couples she doesn’t participate. she’s let her self go and doesn’t care, I have suggested counseling but she blows it off. she treats me like one of the kids (if I leave a cup in the living room, she will leave it there until I move it). I basically live with a room mate. I’m losing interest fast and often wonder if someone else good make me happy, and be my friend.

    Reply
    • August 30, 2016 at 2:54 pm
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      Good afternoon,

      I am so sorry your marriage is suffering. You may look into our Path To Satisfying Love. It is an online course devoted to helping couple’s fall back in love with each other.

      Reply
  • September 9, 2016 at 11:50 am
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    Hello…I came across this article while looking for potential answers. My relationship with God mirrors that of my marriage I’m afraid. I will try and sum up a 30 year marriage in as few words as possible. I come from an abusive childhood including being raised in an abusive religion. That religion forced me into marriage before i was ready for it..the marriage came with years of physical abuse including a forced/blackmailed abortion due to an affair on my part. The abortion came with a broken promise/lie from my husband to “replace” the baby he was forcing me to abort. That never happened. I have actually had multiple affairs as has my husband. My husband has gone through a recent phase of gender confusion and actually having sexual relations with a man with my “blessing” to “figure himself out.” He and I both suffered sexual abuse in our childhoods. We’re currently in an open marriage, my last ditch effort to save anything left that can be saved. Our sex life is completely gone, nor do I have any desire what-so-ever to have sex with my husband ever again. I have already found someone who he himself is in an open relationship, and I’m happier than I have ever been in my entire life. My husband, however is miserable and I don’t see our marriage as having any hope of being saved anymore. He’s already threatened to leave twice now since this open marriage. He has been with two women since the arrangement, however I set out to find one “friend with benefits” that would provide me the sex that I can no longer have with my husband as well as someone I can establish a mental connection with. I’ve found that person and between him and my husband. I’m completely fulfilled. Accept for one very important thing. I HATE seeing my husband so miserable. As your article pointed out..I DO love him but am no longer IN love with him. However I AM in love with my FWB and he with me. But it is a love with parameters from both of our other relationships that we have both accepted and are coming to terms with. I’m not even sure why I’m taking the time to write all of this out and contact you? I have sooo many hangups about religion..however somewhere deep down inside…I guess I’m just needing a little guidance and direction. I look forward to hearing from you and I hope you can at least give me some insight. We do and have raised 3 beautiful successful children together and are now the proud grandparents of 5 grand children. We have built so much together…but i honestly don’t see a way out of the mess that our marriage has become:( There just so much water under the bridge and I’m just done. But needing to figure a way out of this that’s the least painful to my husband as possible. It doesn’t help that suicide runs in his family…I feel so completely alone with all of this. I don’t even know where else to turn. Especially since i no longer want to save my marriage…I just want to save my husband from spiraling out of control. I just want to be happy for the first time in my life.

    Reply
  • November 2, 2016 at 12:05 am
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    Married 19 years to the love of my life. Love him and in love with him with every ounce of my being. He was married before 2 children, 1child together. Ex wife took her life 6 yrs ago. Ever since, things have changed between us. He told me that he “will never love you like I loved her”. I told him that I hope not since their’s was immature, teenage infatuation not pure, mature love like ours. He “loves me but not in love with me”. I know he’s been having an affair with another man. Possibly in the past 6 years at least 2 other men. He says that he wants to separate, wants his freedom that he’s never had. (Got married young, custody of kids, married again) Hates his job. Everything I say or do throws him in to a fit of screaming and yelling. We continue to be intimate although he continues to deny it to this other person. He says he wants to work on our marriage and wants to stay together but still seeing this other man and and I want more than anything to save my marriage but don’t see him making any effort to work with me. If he as seeing another woman I would be just as upset but I feel I would be able to win him back –but a man??? I don’t have the right equipment to compete… I love him and our life together — don’t want to be a statistic or a divorcee or lose my marriage especially to another man!!

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  • November 18, 2016 at 5:31 am
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    I don’t know what to do anymore. My wife tells me she loves me but I do not feel it. I don’t understand why she has such a hard time being sexual. We’ve been to counseling and our pastor cited the bible about it but it is just doesn’t happen. I am afraid to tell her I want a divorce but it would destroy her. There’s not anyone else or anything like that but I am just no longer attracted to her sexually. If I have to ask her to do things then I feel like shes only doing it because I asked. I’ve stopped asking and nothing has happened. Yesterday was my birthday and still nothing. She was very nice and made me dinner and what not, but as far as intimacy it was non existent. I don’t want to leave and hurt her but I also do not want to continue to live in misery.

    Reply
    • November 21, 2016 at 8:41 pm
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      Hello,

      Look into our Path To Soul Satisfying Love! It would be a great fit for you & your marriage!

      Reply
  • February 9, 2017 at 11:29 pm
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    Hello my name is Hugo for the last couple of months my wife’s been having a internet affair and even meeting him couple of times,she say that still have feelings for me but no in love! We agreed to tryout but she still hides her phone,change Facebook password and I’m afraid that she is thinking in leaving!what should I do please any help?

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  • April 3, 2017 at 4:19 am
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    My wife and I have been married for 18 years. We have had our ups and downs. However, the last four years have been difficult. Over the last year, I pretty much was disengaged with my home life and wife. I poured my entire self into my work. Three weeks ago I discovered that my wife had been having an emotional affair. When I approached her, she stated that she had been thinking about leaving me anyway because I wasn’t involved in our marriage. She also stated that she was going through a mid-life crisis and depression over a job she had been fired from. She said her hormones were out of wack and all of this had led up to this event. She stated that she has thought about having one night stands and has not been happy for some time. She stated that she now wants our marriage to work. She denies ever having a physical relationship with anyone. I have been insanely jealous. I have snooped “big time” and she caught me. She says she can’t trust me and has locked up everything so that I can’t see anything. The other day, I asked to use her ipad. She said yes. I got on with good intentions, however I began to snoop. I found in her history that she had been researching abortions. She even looked up locations and costs. I confronted her and she said she was just researching. Tonight I found a used pregnancy test. She had used a pregnancy test. I can’t have children because I had a vasectomy and she knows this. She swears that it was innocent. Her periods have been out of wack and we have been having a lot of sex. She stated that there is a 1% chance even with a vasectomy I could get her pregnant. She was being cautious. I want to save our marriage and we are attending counseling, however am I being an idiot? The man she had an emotional affair with is still in her phone. However, she has a hidden app that keeps his information hidden from me. She also has to work with him from time to time. You add this all up, and I just keep thinking I am an idiot. She has cheated on me and is not being faithful or truthful. What should I do?

    Reply
    • April 6, 2017 at 6:45 pm
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      I am so sorry you are going through this…

      First, you have to focus on you during this time.. As hard as that seems.. Be working on your PIES.

      Second, make sure you are a safe place for your wife.. Try as hard as you can to stop the snooping… Here is a great article on snooping… http://www.marriagehelper.com/snoop-on-spouse

      Reply
  • April 22, 2017 at 8:07 am
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    My my wife told me that she loves me but she’s not in love with me but she wants to find herself to Love Me Again that she told me that we’ll always be together no matter what what does that mean

    Reply
    • April 24, 2017 at 3:37 pm
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      Keep on standing! Be sure to listen to our podcasts. We have done a lot on these…
      itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/marriage-radio-with-joe-beam/id978519992?mt=2

      Reply
  • April 28, 2017 at 4:48 am
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    My husband and I have been together for 7yrs and married for 3. He recently told me he is no longer in love with me and hasn’t been for about 2yrs, he says he is not attracted to me to anymore and he wants a divorce. He says He tried working on our marriage in his own way in his own time, and it didn’t work he wants out. He refuses to go to counseling with me. I am still in love with him and I don’t want a divirce, but I feel lost angry and hurt. I have not acted like myself lately and said and done some cruel things by letting my hurt and anger guide me. I want to try and save our marriage but he doesn’t want to. He is a very needy person who needs constant interactions with others, the issue is it’s always women. He says he has never cheated me, but he is emotionally cheating on me, he also just told me tonight that he has told his “friend” personal stuff about him that he says he was never able to open up to me about. What should I do, should I keep trying or just give up and get a divorce. Can my marriage be saved.

    Reply
  • May 8, 2017 at 12:00 am
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    My situation is exactly the same as mentioned in the column . . Ours was a love marriage and it’s been 9+ years for our marriage. . We have 2 beautiful daughters . . We were very very happy (of course like a normal husband and wife we used to also fight for some days)

    I met my wife in my office in 2006 June. . 2008 jan we got married . . Untill 2010 April she was working in the same office . . However I had moved to a new company in the year 2007 and from the same organisation I got a better oppurtunity to move to a different city (Bangalore to Chennai of India) in the year 2010 and this was the time where she had forego her job as we already had our first daughter aged about 9 months nd no one wanted support us in the new city

    We both struggled all alone in the new city . . In 2013 we had our 2nd daughter . ..the struggle did not come to an end we continued . . Right from the time we moved in to Chennai my wife always had regret of foregoing her career because of me and I used to always think of giving her an oppurtunity to work no matter how difficult it was

    With 2 kids nd zero support from both our families we still used try and find out happiness somewhere . . Tried for many part time jobs where my wife can find a little peace but we were very unfortunate . . Finally we decided that if she jas to persue her professional carrer she has to do a night shift and take care of kids during the day and i would continue with my job nd take care of kids in the night

    In the year 2015 she got a job in an international tech support and as planned and thought we went for it . . We both used to slog to balance both of our personal and professional life’s . . Trust me even at this point we got zero support from families . . I as a person lost my entity in my office as I used to run to my house even before my shift gets over so that I can relieve my wife . . And she used to do the same in mornings . . My wife used hardly sleep for 3 to 4 hours in a day . . Managing 2 kids through out the day after a hectic sleepledd nights . . Trust me wife had been doing a rock solid job . . Hats off to her . . Even i for that matter try nd help as much as possible . . Just to ensure she gets a little additional sleep i used to help her with few hold hold jobs . . Some where i was loosing my self . . My space . . No friends as no time to spend with them . . No additional aspiration as i had to rush to home . . No time watch TV . . News paper . . Social network. . Every thing went on a toss . .

    Things were getting managed untill Sep 2016 . . This is the time when my wife started spending more time in office . . 12 hours . . 13 hours . . When i have a week off . . But she used to come home nd honestly say that she is got a new set friends nd she likes spending time with them hence she used logg out after her 9 hours nd chat with these set of friends

    One fine day she came and said that they have planned for an international trip and it was her dream city visit (London) I was equally happy nd excited . . Even before she request I had confirmed her to join that trip also had told no matter how much ever expensive this trip would cost I would manage

    With in a week’s time the group of 4 to t people who had decided to go on this trip had dropped one by one . . Finally there was one person who was still ready . . Again my wife came to me very disappointed mentioning this . . But I never let her dream not full filled . . Both me nd my 8 year old daughter convinced her to on this trip . . And agreed

    From there on this person started conning to my house . . Even in my absence he used to come . . My wife used to tell that since they r planning for international trip and he knows a lot of stuff they need to to different agencies for enquring

    Initially I was fine but over a period of time his visits increased . . She used to speak a lot about him . . Somewhere in mid november we had to visit bangalore for an medicalemergencied . . Initially she was the one who insisted we will go . . But when actually we had travel she was very adoment nd was not ready to travel . . Great difficulty we travelled through out the way we had lot of fights . .

    The day when we returned she started telling me that she is done with me nd wants to get divorced . . I was amazed however thought this could be just another rough phase . . But it was not days passed by . . Weeks passed by but she kept on telling the same thing

    One fine day I asked her is that guy a reason for this . . Also asked her if she loves him . . She refused mentioning that he just another friend but very close nd she likes her . . I questioned her as to why he comes to our house in my absence . . I was very upset . . There was a big argument but came to an end mentioning we will get saparated . . I went to office . . I could not focus hence took permission nd came bk . . Was surprised to c her little normal by the 2nd end of the day we changed our decision to stay together for lovely kids . .
    But these kind of arguments have hand many times . . Some times she concludes saying we will get separated nd I patch up nd some time she

    By February 2017 this tension had gone up to my mind . . I went in to depression I started doubting on her on what ever she used to do . . These were the days when my manager had come down to our office and I had spend more time in office . . Some where i forced my self after several yes and nos to have a voice recorded on at home in my absence . . My wife had taken leave and had decided to stay back home and support me so that I can spend more time in offc

    After 3 days . . When my manager went back I heard all the recordings . . This was shock of my life . . I realised that she spends most of time on calls with . . And couple of instances he had come to home but my wife did not tell this to me

    Again arguments . . I was asking for an explanation and she was upset about the fact that I policed her or spyed on her . . Somehow again the same thing where we decided to get separated but we pacified

    Now from each of her action I feel she is close to him . . She like him more than me . . She love him . .

    My days and nights have become he’ll cos in June this international trip is happening . . She can see me in pain but does not want to react on it . . She still keeps telling that he is good guy . . But never strongly says that there is nothing in between them . . She very boldly says it is not his mistake but hers and she likes him a lot . .

    Now I guess I have reached the saturation point . . I want my wife back . . She says he is not the reason for our break up . . She says I dnt look good . . I am not smart . . I not a perfect man I help her in all house hold things and as I have lost my entity in my office . . She is not dealing that today I am like this it is cos of her dream to work and aspiration to work

    Right from Sep our sexual life is screwed up . . She is not all interest in me or having sex with me . . She is completely changed the way she speaks . . The way she used to care for kids and she just keep telling me that I am torturing her with questions . . After coming no from office she goes to gym . . No matter how much ever I am getting late she comes only after completing her set of excersise

    I am going mad day by day . . Even today I still love her a lot and feels that she comes back . . Not sure what I should do . . There is bloody trip with him for 15 days in June is killing me . . She knows this but yet she wants to carry on the trip

    Reply
  • May 21, 2017 at 5:32 pm
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    My wife and I have been married for 23 years today. Last Thursday night we had a disagreement and after I said you hate me don’t you. The next night we talk and she said she would have left me months ago if it was not for our kids. Yesterday we went out and made up but I keep feeling she’s not in love anymore and I have felt this way for a year in a half. I do think it is a matter of time she will leave me. Any suggestions?

    Reply
  • July 4, 2017 at 1:11 pm
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    This is hard, my wife is in love with someone else and not willing to give up. i JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

    Reply
  • August 21, 2017 at 2:46 am
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    I need help!!! My spouse has had at least 3 affairs that I know of(not for 10or more years, that I know of) I forgave him each time, but, it did hurt and it changed my love for him and me as I person and a wife . In December he told me he was no longer in love with me and wasn’t sure if even loved me at all.
    This broke my heart. Well we stayed together but it was very plain that I needed to change and he was in no problem at at fault He ran to the bank and opened his own account and changed his direct deposits on two occasions. Which left me no way to support myself. He made me look crazy to our neighbors by saying he needed them to keep his guns for safety. I am no longer happy with this man that the sun once rose and set in. I cry a lot and according to him I am at fault for everything. Is that even possible? I keep telling I am sure that one person in a marriage can not be at fault 100% of the time. I feel so ashamed and I feel like I am letting GOD down. Please help with advice if you can. I just want to be happy again.

    Reply
  • September 20, 2017 at 7:03 pm
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    My wife and I have been married 14 years. This is my first and her third marriage. A while back she received an email from her first husband who she has been divorced from for over 30 years. He is remarried. When she replied to his email she wrote that he was her first love and soul mate. That he was and always will be the best thing that ever happened to her. That she did not want to marry me because her heart still belonged to him. She did not tell me about the emails but I felt something was wrong so I asked her and she finally confessed. She says that the email was not for me to read and that she did not mean everything she wrote. Also now she has confessed to me that she has lied to me about her past, that she has had a very wild past and that she had many more sexual partners than she first told me about. Where do I go from here. I don’t trust her any more. She says she loves me but I don’t feel she is in love with me.

    Reply
  • October 8, 2017 at 11:54 pm
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    My wife just said to me that she doesn’t love me anymore but that she doesn’t want to leave but she will try to love me again.I’m not a experienced person in marriage but does anyone know if that is possible. We still have sex daily .I’m so confused about my situation she did do stuff behind my back .she stole money, lied about 4credit cards she maxed out. But she says that she doesn’t know what she bought or where the money went. Am I doing wrong. I am willing to listen to everyone out there. Cause I know I need help.

    Reply
  • October 8, 2017 at 11:57 pm
    Permalink

    Thanks for your time and I am hoping that you can lead me in the right direction.

    Reply

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