Marriage Compatibility Test

A young  loving  couple hugging and kissing on the beach at suns

Instructions:

Please answer our marriage compatibility test questions as honestly as possible, based on what you truly feel is characteristic of your relationship right now. Do not answer how you think it should be but how it actually is and feels.

Throughout the compatibility test for couples, there are blanks for you to mentally insert the name of your spouse. Just say his or her name in your head whenever you come across a blank.

Rate the following questions on the compatibility test using a scale of 1 to 9. One means not at all. Five means moderately. Nine means very much.

Note: All information submitted on this page is considered confidential, will be kept private and never sold or given to any third party vendors. Used by permission of Dr. Robert Sternberg, Yale University. If your scores are low, we can help. Click here to get more information on our Marriage Helper 911 workshop for troubled marriages.

Spouse’s First Name:


1. I share deeply personal information about myself with _______.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

2. I find myself thinking about _______ during the day.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

3. Because of my commitment to _______, I would not let others come between us.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

4. I receive considerable emotional support from _______.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

5. My relationship with _______ is very romantic.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

6. I expect my love for _______ to last for the rest of my life.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

7. I communicate well with _______.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

8. I cannot imagine another person making me as happy as _______ does.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

9. I will always feel a strong responsibility for _______.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10. I feel that I can really trust _______.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

11. My relationship with _______ is very passionate.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

12. I plan to continue my relationship with _______.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

13. I feel that _______ really understands me.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

14. I would rather be with _______ than anyone else.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

15. I have confidence in the stability of my relationship with _______.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Submitting

Note: All information submitted on this marriage compatibility test is considered personal and confidential, will be kept private and will never be sold to any third party vendors or stored in any way. Test used by permission of Dr. Robert Sternberg, Yale University.

10 Comments

  1. Merideth Merideth
    January 10, 2016    

    I lost respect for my husband over time, controlling, depressing, bad behavior, which eventually made it impossible to be in love with him. At first I was in and out of love, relationship whiplash if you will. It was a slow death because I wanted to love him, I would always try again until the pattern of bad behavior was a mountain I could no longer convince myself to climb. I would get over the bad behavior and he would be kind only to start over with being an ass of a man. I’ve prayed, fasted, prayed and fasted, done 30 days for your spouse, countless bible studies, how to’s and endless tips. I finally came to the conclusion that I was the only one wanting a change. I couldn’t pray him into something he would never choose to do, change. He doesn’t see problems and refuses counseling, he has told me that the kids and I ruined his opportunities for wealth and I think he regrets marrying in the first place and treats us so because his life didn’t turn out the way he wanted. I found a journal of his by mistake about 2 years ago, I thought it was a financial book we keep passwords in, but this one had the most awful vile things in it about me and how he hated me. When I confronted him he blamed me for reading it and said it was nothing. I’ve been to counseling on my own, submerged myself in projects, ministry and sevice to distract myself from the inevitable. I no longer love him but I can’t leave. I mean I can’t get myself to leave. Of course he still wants to be intimate but it’s terrible for me, brings me to tears privately after. I can’t even stand the smell of him or his presence. My father was such a Godly man and treated my mother so good that I’m embarrassed that my husband is so awful. I try to hide it all like a woman with physical bruises, I cover everything up. My mother died a few years ago so I have not wanted to burden my father with how horrible it is to live with my husband. I don’t wan’t him to see me divorce and grief to him and he feel like a failure as a father. I’m compelled to stay, for our precious children to have a father, for a stable home and for the gospel. Jesus loves me and I’m a sinner, I should try to love him the way God has loved me? it’s the right thing to stay and love the unloveable? Paul commends Christian women not to leave their unbelieving spouses, how much more that I married to a man who professes Christ should stay? If I keep up the facade, not make him angry, try hard to live by his rules and not get him upset, it can be tolerable. I want to be free of him and yet, I feel compelled to stay.

    • Me. Me.
      January 14, 2016    

      Merideth. You are a wonderful person. You deserve the world and I’m sure your Dad would want to know. It wouldn’t burden him, if he is a good man he would rather know and help you and love you the way you deserve to be. Your children would be better off if you are happy. And you know that God would want you to be happy, he is there for you through thick and thin. God would not want you to suffer this. You would not be leaving because he does not believe, you would be leaving for you and your Children and your dad. Your mum will be with you through all of this. She and God will give you strength because it is stronger to leave and be safe. You owe this man nothing. Remember your children. A stable home is not one that hurts. Jesus loves you.

    • Rach Rach
      January 17, 2016    

      Know your worth.

      Walk away.

      Let your father and kids have the opportunity of opening their hearts to a real loving man.

      Do it for yourself, before its too late.

    • Angela Angela
      January 19, 2016    

      Meridith,
      You are not doing yourself or your children any favors by staying in a marriage that is pretty much dead. I was married for 9 years with two children from my ex and for years I knew it was over, but I was convinced I couldn’t never make it on my own. I didn’t want my kids to not have their dad. It was actually my daughter and a letter I found that she had written to God that ultimately made me walk out the door for good. My children were 11 and 8 at the time and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. It wasn’t easy but I didn’t have to walk on eggshells anymore and that alone was enough. No marriage should be that way. It’s been 5 years and my children are now 15 and 12, their father made the choice to have no part of them and that’s more difficult to deal with then initially saying enough is enough. I however have found the most amazing, wonderful man that I’m engaged to and he’s everything I could’ve have prayed for God to bring into my life. He’s my soulmate and he’s the father that my children need. He’s there 100% and I couldn’t be more thankful. I’m truly happy now and I owe that to having enough courage and enough stength to make the decision that my children and myself deserved more than what we had. I hope you find that for yourself. You and your children deserve more than what you have right now. It’s hard and I’m the first person to admit that but at some point in time you will find that there is so much more to life than the misery you are dealing with. I will keep you in my prayers.

    • Mickie Mickie
      January 20, 2016    

      The Lord be with you Sister.

    • January 21, 2016    

      How would your father react to knowing you were 8n such an abusive relationship? Your Heavenly Father sees your anguish and sent Christ to give you an abundant life. Abuse is not part of it. There is no shame in divorce; there is freedom from tyrany.
      Jeremiah 29:11 tells us God has good plans for you. Follow the dream God put in your heart.You cant do that living in such a state!

    • Cynthia Cynthia
      January 23, 2016    

      I’m praying for you.

  2. Lency Lency
    January 16, 2016    

    Merideth,

    You are a brave and loving mother to endure such treatment for a man who does seem to care his wife is unhappy. A healthy marriage should consists of the two of you growing together and from the sounds your’re on that path. Its sad that people cannot evolve overtime but people are who they are and you cannot change them; you can only change yourself and live the life you are proud of. Can you honestly say you are demonstrating a healthy marriage that you/your children can be proud of? If not, I recommend you stating the following below:
    God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.
    Amen.

  3. Rochanda Rochanda
    January 18, 2016    

    I felt real love for my husband when we first got married,but in the change of events and the way he talks to me and no intimacy have lost I love the hair. A fight with me to find it again every day is hotter and hotter, I pray that God helps me to understand what I am to do. I do know that I’m not going to file for divorce but I will grab him one if I pray that God helps me to understand what I am to do. I do know that I’m not going to file for divorce but I will grant him one if he asks. The way this man is I knowing my heart and I could never love him The way wife should love her husband. Sometimes I wish that he would just go. He makes me feel like I am the biggest mistake he made and for that he’s going to spend the rest of my life punishing me.

  4. Kimberly Holmes Kimberly Holmes
    January 21, 2016    

    We always advise people who are in danger to seek safety. Please do that, and if necessary call the domestic abuse hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or visit thehotline.org

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